Sometimes I wonder what our blogs, Christmas letters, and facebook posts would look like if we didn’t spin them so our lives, families, and everything around us look impossibly perfect. I’m grateful for the precious people in my life who share the unspun truths of my life.
I haven’t blogged much in the past months because what is dearest to my heart are those unresolved situations in other people’s lives that I cannot betray confidences. These things seem to gang up on us. When people we love do unlovable things. Those times people have said things that hurt so badly, so publicly but if we defend ourselves, we’d be dragged into their playgrounds. Times when nothing will ever be the same again.
A friend and I have discussed over the past few years those times we can’t post our prayer requests on facebook, except to say “unspoken”. Times when I know the answers to my prayers may not be answered until long after I’m gone. Jenkins Middle School, where Dude played in the orchestra for three years, adjuncts our subdivision.
But this afternoon I prayed for the family of who was a student at Jenkins and Dude’s age (fourteen-years-old) from youth group as he was laid to rest. He would have gone to Dude’s high school next school year.
Granted, with five hundred or so students in the Elevate youth meetings each Wednesday evening, Dude and Terrell didn’t know each other well but his passing has impacted everyone. Terrell was baptized on Easter, April 20th this year. He took his life two days later. No one may ever know exactly what caused this tragedy.
I don’t even know how to express my thoughts but some ineffective ideas pop into mind first: – “Bible bullets” we shoot at times like this. – Platitudes we say but have no way of understanding. – Suspicion we sometimes exhibit to the bereaved. – Guilt, thinking this tragedy could have/should have been prevented.
The quote on my calendar today says, “Our joy can be stable as the sunrise, even when circumstances put us through enormous stress.” It also points to Nehemiah 8:10 “It is time to celebrate…for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
I wonder if every parent hugs her child as much as I have mine since we learned of the tragedy.
